People die of disease, because God created us that way at the beginning. Because you still feel the pain of the hurt, you may wonder if you’ve fully forgiven. I read many of your articles and many of them feel as if they are specifically addressed to me and my current struggle. I do also know that I am a human being who has sinned in my life and one thing about me is that I do not mind sharing with the world at large all I have done, the bad and the ugly. FYI - Any links I provide to products or services are for those I personally have used or approve. I appreciate your affirmation and your prayers. I would go so far to say that one or two of your articles have profoundly changed my perspective and had significant and positive impact on my life. He took our sin into Himself, actually becoming our sin (2 Cor. While it’s tough to imagine, you can have a clear heart and also enforce healthy boundaries. 8:28-29). Doesn’t He care? […], […] How to Forgive Someone Who Keeps Hurting You […]. Hard to believe, as no one actually wants to be hurt but it's true. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that this world plagued by pain and disease, deliberate meanness and selfishness, is not God’s original perfect creation. I’m sure it’s hard to figure out how you’re going to be around them yet still honor your emotions. Give her what she needs to be able to trust you more but to also stand up for herself where needed. I thought we had a happy, fulfilling marriage. Why does God allow it? Evil was unleashed by Adam when he disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden (Gen. 3) and it has been causing havoc, pain and suffering ever since. She has a freelance calligraphy business in her home studio; hand lettering was her "Proverbs 31 job" while her children were young. This is about my cousin’s gf with whom I had met once 5 yrs ago and I dint even know she was his gf. Sue never met a cruise ship she didn't like, especially now that God has provided a travel scooter for getting around any ship! I pray he will be willing to put the work in that’s needed to repair this horrific tear he has created in your relationship. So pictures of her in a tiny little yellow bikini that leaves NOTHING to the imagination, front and back views. It’s related to the question of how to forgive someone who keeps hurting you, though it’s larger, because it’s A LOT of people who hurt all of us over and over again by consciously, actively refusing to do what’s right. In the New Covenant, we have permanent forgiveness due to the blood of Christ having been sacrificed and due to the presence of Christ within us. Karine, I’m glad you found the article helpful. He is almighty. My apologies. I had tried to forget and forgive all those things. Randy: I would say God doesn’t do that. When someone continues to hurt you or has never sincerely apologized, your task of forgiving can take a while. The last chapter of the Bible makes it clear that there is a happy ending to what is NOT a fairy tale. But the Father raised Him from the dead, and He is alive at His Father’s right hand right now in heaven. It took me a few months to process it all but I feel like I did forgive him. 5:8). At some point Father God decided to create mankind and draw us into His circle of love, adopting us as sons (Eph. (Take a moment and read that again.) Your past patterns of dealing with being hurt are not those you want to continue. they are asking the wrong question. What started out as a Three-Personed holy hug of the Father, Son and Spirit loving each other while still remaining one God, will be a hugely enlarged circle of love that includes millions, possibly billions of people God made in His image, marked “Mine,” and drew into the divine circle to love and be loved forever. Why doesn’t He stop it—surely He can. Being better able to communicate to her may help her to see your hurt. The one good thing that has come out of this is we recognize the need to teach our 3 sons differently than my husband and his brothers were taught. Does forgiveness mean you won’t get angry again if they treat you badly yet one more time? Because He knew the end result was worth it. Actually, God does say for us to forgive just as he has forgiven us. But instead of teaching their boys to respect women as a whole person and a fellow child of God, they were just taught to never get caught looking. He likes to look online because he can look longer than just a glance in public (hence, the videos). If you are around people for very long, you will end up hurt by someone. He will set all things right in the end. How can I make him see that his actions are not acceptable just because I forgive him? And my pain is nothing compared to the horrific suffering of millions around the world. A few of the women in his videos he also had been “researching” on social media, etc. While the information provided on this site is for your personal growth, it is not to be considered professional counseling. He was distraught and asked for forgiveness, promised he would never do it again, blah, blah, blah. Disclosure: I am writing this while beset by the most physical pain I’ve experienced since post-polio syndrome started attacking my body with the “unholy trinity” of pain, weakness and fatigue. So sad to know your heart is getting hurt in this relationship that means so much to you. When people say no to God, they not only cut themselves off from relationship with Him, they open the door to all kinds of evil. See comments below for more clarification on this. The counsel is: Keep God’s attributes in living, dynamic relation to each other. Please don’t be fooled, when an addiction is in play (and this sounds very much like an addiction), more than words are needed. The alternative would be the equivalent to making a phone say, “Good morning, I love you.” The words might be there but there is no heart and no choice behind them—they are nothing more than the result of a programming code. Every single step. That’s easy to do in our own strength. Please don’t minimize what he has done. He has sexually given himself over to other women. Hi, I was reading your article and wondered how your statement, “But, the bible doesn’t say anything about God forgetting our sin” reconciles with Jeremiah 31:34 which reads, “For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will [seriously] remember their sin no more.” Could you please expound on that? So what do we pray? The last chapter of the Bible makes it clear that there is … There is a mystery as to why He put people on this earth. How can you forgive an adult child who continues to use drugs and steal from you? I truly just want to be free from the hurt and pain and that people will just allow and accept that I have forgiven them from the pain they have caused me and just simply leave me alone and not bother me. Then discovered over 50 videos he had taken of women from behind at the gym. :-) ). (This article may be a start.). (I Peter 1:7). I feel like we may need counseling but I can’t find any Christian counselors in our area that aren’t attached to a specific church. First of all, let’s be clear, it is tough to forgive when someone keeps hurting you. Because He knew the end result was worth it. I may get a small commission on purchases made on some of them (e.g., Amazon). There is no divine “Bibbity-Bobbity-Boo.”. Until then, let me know if you have struggled to forgive and what questions you need answered to help you know if you have fully forgiven. I will pray that the Lord will ease your pain and I will forward this great and concise explanation of God's love and why He allows us to suffer to all I can. Same bitter thoughts come. Some people think that you don’t. How to Handle the Things You Hate But Can't Change, Teaching Teens about Rape Culture and Modesty, 3 Life Hacks That Will Revolutionize Your Relationships, The believers’ eternal blessings in union with the Son. The Message (not a literal translation but one that gives the essence of what Scripture is saying) quotes the Hebrew passage as saying “They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.” The emphasis in this passage is on the permanency of Christ’s work. Prayer: Lord, I don’t know why this is happening, but I pray that through this situation, I can lead someone to you. Also, I would get some help with how you approach the gf about your feelings. He needs to take action to gain healing for himself and he needs to be willing to do what’s necessary to restore trust with you. God made us with the very real option to say no to Him, so that our yes would mean something. The impact is exactly the same because he has broken his vows to love, honor, and cherish YOU. What you have experienced is repeated betrayal. A continual celebration of love, adoration, respect, and delight in each other. Instead, if someone yells at you, let them yell, it makes them happy! so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”. Their intentions may be good, but they are hard to bear. It’s a legitimate question, and it deserves a thoughtful answer that honors the amount of pain attached to it. Thank you for posting this. This post (https://www.arenewedlife.com/2-reasons-you-cant-keep-healthy-boundaries/) may also help you understand why it’s difficult for you to speak up clearly about what you need in the relationship. Lord, comfort her and heal her heart. . […]. This is probably the biggest question, and the biggest obstacle to trusting God, in Christianity. Perhaps, he’s called you to stay put in a place you don’t want to. But I don’t get good vibes from her. What the first Adam messed up, Jesus the Second Adam corrected. Any commissions I receive will help offset the costs. Read what I’ve written about assertiveness in this post (https://www.arenewedlife.com/5-keys-to-assertiveness/). Every day of His earthly life, He suffered as a human, limiting Himself to a body that would get tired, hungry, thirsty and dirty. Starting before the beginning of time. Healthy boundaries between people, friends, in marriage, with … She loves teaching women and laughing, and if those two can be combined, all the better. But I fear this behavior is a precursor to cheating and I don’t know what would’ve happened had I not found out. She is happily married to Dr. Ray Bohlin, writer and speaker on faith and science with Probe Ministries, and they have two grown sons. He is a loving God who wants the best for each of us. That is something I can never seem to keep in mind. We need to put evil and suffering into perspective, and that means the Really Big Picture. Oh Paul, my heart goes out to you in your chronic pain – I can’t imagine how difficult it must be, so I won’t even try. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in … He could stop it all with a single word. When someone hurts you, allow yourself to feel the emotions. It only means you have not healed from the hurt. But I am not sure I did fully because I was terrified he would do something to hurt me again. Feeling understood can help the heat of your emotions to cool off. There was fighting with cousin regarding the same and he thought it was my problem to think that way. He swears he never did and I do believe him. He knew that Adam would rebel, that His perfect creation would crash and burn in the Fall, and that everything would be infected and corrupted by sin. It doesn’t mean, however, that you accept bad treatment. If you truly understand how great your own offenses against God have been and the extent of his sacrifice for you in order to give you righteousness instead of the penalty your sin deserves, you would have little trouble letting go of any rights to hold a grudge at another person. We live in an area where it would not be hard to meet someone from the videos if he really wanted to. Lord, I pray for Stephanie, for the situation she is in. I’m so glad my articles have been timely for you. Where Adam disobeyed the Father, Jesus learned obedience through suffering (Heb. 1:4-5) and creating a Bride for His eternal Son (Rev. He says this time he is committed to not hurting me again. Cause I used to think this too for 5 years and it broke me down so much by allowing such people in my life. I have decided to just be more quiet around her…But…??? But if you lean on God when others mistreat you and remember Christ as your example in suffering you … It also means HE has not done the needed work to help you heal by restoring trust. So even the attacks of Satan, although evil, can and will have a "good" result, ultimately, as God uses them to conform us to Christ, His Son (see Romans 8:29). How can you forgive your husband when he continues to be insensitive to your needs? Certainly God sees you, huh? Help! I’m so sad for you. 1. Because you still feel the pain of the hurt, you may wonder if … But, the Bible doesn’t say anything about God forgetting our sin. “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”. 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